Rachel K

What were the challenges that you were experiencing before a one-to-one coaching?

It was a heavy load of just emotions constantly. And I couldn't navigate through, even if it was triggers at work, triggers in my relationship, triggers just within myself or something that I watched. It just constantly felt like I was on a trigger mode.

I just couldn't help myself to understand why or how to make it work. So yeah, it just felt like a crazy time. It felt like there were a lot of emotions I just couldn’t handle.

I'm curious if you were to sum up what were the one or two things specifically that you were looking for support on?

I was looking for support on how to manage my relationships. I realised I would like to experience a healthy relationship, to share experiences with someone. But I’ve found it difficult to maintain one, as these issues kept arising and I didn't really know how to deal with things or communicate.

So that was one specific thing that I was hoping to gain from it and another was just understanding how to deal with triggers. Things were stirring up and I hadn't really explored them.

Once we started one-to-one sessions, I realised there's a lot going on so I really wanted to work on was how to understand my triggers and get to the root problem of them.

I really wanted to explore to understand them more, process them more and that definitely worked! Like I said before, I don't feel that heaviness or feel like I'm carrying a heavy bag.

It is definitely lighter and it doesn't define me. I was carrying it around like I couldn't live without it, but it's different now.

I’m curious if you had any reservations about joining my coaching program and what made you decide to take the leap?

I didn't have reservations when we first started working together because in our first journey I mainly wanted to improve the physical aspect of me trying to get over traumas so I could have more pleasurable, better sex and let go.

Then once we started to delve into it more and more, it became more than just that, the heart, the soul and everything else came up.

When we decided to continue and have sessions again. That was a bit scary because now it wasn't just, oh, I'm doing this because I want to have better sex, it was something a lot deeper. It is draining. It is tiring. But I can say that it helps!

Yeah, with having great sex but also into a whole journey of wholeness which I didn't expect from start to now.

I love that whole journey of wholeness which started with the better sex. And then it being so much deeper. I find that sometimes this coaching should carry a warning!

What made you decide to continue working with me and continue doing that work together, even with these reservations?

Because the strategies and the exercises and tools that we used, they really work, especially compared to anything that I've tried to do myself or gone out and explored on my own.

Also knowing you had this personal experience with trauma and triggers and being able to say you resonate with what I’m going through helped a lot.

I remember those first exercises of breathing and even incorporate breathing into the stomach and even the vagina which I haven't done before. And I still do that now sometimes! It just really connects yourself with yourself better leading to me letting go with sex. I enjoy sex more now, for myself, and I'm not in my head. It’s such a nice experience.

Yeah. So it was the strategies and the tools and feeling like you really understood and resonate with where I was coming from that help.

I'd be really curious to know what you feel has like shifted for you from when we started coaching to now?

The big shifts were learning to have boundaries and how to exercise them. Cause I didn't really have any before.

Also I’m not walking around in fight/flight mode anymore. I’m not in that anxious mode and feeling triggered into defensive mode constantly. And that's resulted in actually me having better sleep. I have been sleeping a lot better, since we started. So that's, that's made a huge difference.

I used to have this fear of the next day and the fear of having to carry all my triggers and trauma again so I used to put off the day anding and a new one beginning by distracting myself from sleeping. Whereas now I don’t do that. Now I'm tired. I'm going to bed. Do my routine, go to sleep, wake up. Without really thinking. It's just natural. Whereas before I'd go to sleep with a heavy anxiety or tomorrow, I'll go do this all over again. That's a huge difference.

Another huge shift has been integrating all these different parts of me and realising that all parts of you that make you whole, my eyes are like welling up a little, just because I remember that moment. I can continue to check in with all these parts of me and embrace them with love and acceptance.

There's just so much! I also remember another huge shift when I realised I was trying to be this perfect kind of Barbie doll version of me and bringing awareness to the fact that doesn't exist. Everyone has their challenges and it doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with you and you can stop trying to become this, this plastic version of yourself. That was a big realisation of coming home and accepting the different parts of myself.

I'd be curious from all of this if you have like one particular thing that you would say is your biggest revelation or biggest takeaway?

I'd say accepting the parts of myself and accepting myself. That is a huge thing for me.

Just finally accepting myself and who I am. I don't think I really was before and I think that's where the low self-worth and self-love a lack of self love and care was coming from. Whereas now it's like, just me accepting me. That's a huge thing.

Was there a session or exercise that stands out as a favourite for you?

Yes absolutely! It was when we were breathing and exploring where would you like to be touched, and then getting into it and learning how to express to someone else that this is how I want to be touched and how and vice versa.

Is there an exercise or exercises that you still use today?

Yeah, I still use the sex magic breathwork. I do swamping regularly. And I always done the breathing from the chest, the stomach to the vagina and do that a lot in my thighs. So I feel that really connects me to myself more, my sexual self as well as my pleasure

Also I've still got all the parts of myself we integrated. So when I need one, I can call on all these different spaces for support. I still touch in to all those different parts when I need them. When I feel like, oh, I'm feeling fear. I do that exercise again.

Those are the main ones that I do regularly.

What did you love and value about working with me?

It just felt so comfortable and natural, it was just so easy. I never felt like I had to hold anything back, it just flowed really well. You were just really open and listened. It just felt like you were really in it as I was in it as well. Really with the emotions, you know? And that just made a really good connection and you maintained a good relationships throughout. I didn't feel unsafe or insecure to say anything.

And you’re just so reliable and then you go way over and beyond.

What would you say to anyone considering working with me?

I would say, which I've tried to tell someone to do already, is try it out because you will grow and find out things about yourself that are only there to be uncovered and to have positive results.

Whether it's a sexual or physical relationship. It ends up being about you at the end of the day. It could start as I want to have the perfect boyfriend or I want to have great sex and orgasm, but you'll learn a lot more than you expect to.

Also I know we started in lock down with COVID so it's always been over zoom and generally those sorts of things can be quite hard to maintain and develop. But it hasn't been. I haven't found it to be an issue at all, which says a thousand words for how you are and how you connect with people and connected with me.